How to improve my self-esteem

We propose several practical exercises that will be very useful for you.

SUPPORT EXERCISE 1/4

"My skills and weaknesses: 4 steps"

This exercise will help you get to know yourself better. You will need a notebook where you can write down the answers.

STEP 1. THINK ABOUT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS, YOUR TALENTS, YOUR POSITIVE QUALITIES.

Be aware of all of them and write one every day for a week. Think:

  • What special qualities or abilities do you have? Remember small successes, compliments or compliments that have been made to you.
  • What qualities do you appreciate in the people you love?
  • Which of these qualities do you possess?
EXAMPLE

Week from __________ to ___________ (Place this sheet in a visible place and read it every day). 

  • Monday: I am generous with my family
  • Tuesday: I am competent in my work
  • Wednesday: I know how to work in a team
  • Thursday: I have patience with my parents
  • Friday: I have a lot of willpower
  • Saturday: I make my friends laugh
  • Sunday: I am clever

STEP 2. THERE IS NOTHING BAD WITH HAVING WEAKNESSES AND DEFECTS

Everyone has them. We all have a list of things we would like to be different about. The problem is not having that list but the way we use our weaknesses to self-attack ourselves destructively. Our weaknesses are there, but if you read the lists in the example carefully, you will see the difference between two ways to deal with those weaknesses. 

Be aware of all your weaknesses and record one every day for a week. Then review them using non-pejorative language, precise and specific language instead of general.

EXAMPLE

Week from __________ to __________ (unchecked -> revised)

  • Monday: in the morning I am sullen --> I am in a bad mood some mornings
  • Tuesday: I am a disaster --> I need to organize better
  • Wednesday: I am aggressive --> I have to control my impulses more
  • Thursday: I am anxious for everything --> I get nervous in some situations
  • Friday: I do not accept criticism --> I have trouble accepting criticisms
  • Saturday: I am dominant --> I like too much to direct and organize
  • Sunday: I am gluttonous --> I eat too much sometimes

In the "unchecked" column the weaknesses sound like insults, while in the "revised" column those same weaknesses have been transformed into aspects to improve.


STEP 3. CHECK AND LEARN

At the end of the week, review your positive qualities and weaknesses and write a new description of yourself in a paragraph.

STEP 4. REPEAT TO PROGRESS

You can repeat the exercise for several weeks. Each time you will do better and feel better.

SUPPORT EXERCISE 2/4

"Day by day"

Every night for a month at the end of the day, write down in your notebook:

  1. the good situations you have experienced, 
  2. the challenges you have overcome, 
  3. the mistakes you have made and how you have thought about improving them,
  4. healthy and positive emotions that have been present.

You can start today !!! 

SUPPORT EXERCISE 4/4

"Two actions for today"

Every morning think about the day you are going to start and choose two items from the following list to work on during the day:

  • End the Pathological Criticism that sends you self-destructive thoughts.
  • Do not decide based on what others will think, focus on what I want.
  • Repeat self-affirmations that help me strengthen my self-esteem: "I am a valuable person."
  • Focus on the positive, value it every day.
  • Be aware of my past and present achievements and try to improve myself in the future.
  • Caring for my social relationships by empowering positive people and avoiding negative ones.
  • Avoid perfectionist behaviors and thoughts, they only bring me discomfort.
  • Keep fit, exercise.
  • Taking care of my diet and my sleeping habits, I will feel better.
  • Make an effort to know myself better, accept myself as I am and work to improve what I want to change.
  • (Other than you decide)
SUPPORT EXERCISE 4/4

"My goal of the month"

1.- Define a goal for this month that is an improvement in some important aspect for you. May it make you feel better about yourself and feel that you are overcoming aspects of your life that you want to improve. The goal should be clear, realistic and affordable with a moderate effort. It must be concrete and evaluable. Examples: do sports two times a week, see my family once a week.

2.- Plan how you will do it, what actions you will have to carry out. Examples: meet someone to go jogging with on Mondays and Thursdays, go see my parents on Tuesdays after work.

3.- Start acting and start your decisions. 

4.- Rate your results: 

If they go well ... congratulate yourself and continue with those goals and incorporate others little by little.

If they are not going well… check your goals, they may be very ambitious for this moment or they may not be right.

Discover yourself

Good self-esteem is the basis of personal success. It is essential to develop a healthy personality. It is a dynamic quality that is acquired and generated throughout our lives and therefore can grow or weaken.