What is invisible abuse?

Accepting and assuming that there is psychological abuse in a relationship is difficult for both the abused person and the abuser.

When there is physical violence, it cannot be denied, it has existed and it is clearly remembered. But it is more complicated to be aware of what is happening when it comes to psychological abuse: we have doubts or we are not able to see it clearly enough.

On many occasions it precedes or accompanies physical abuse, but it’s not always the case. The abuser has enough power to override and dominate his partner through mental manipulation and emotional extortion.

While most people who suffer psychological abuse are women, it’s not always the case. In our experience we have found cases of psychological abuse in both men and women.

Psychological abuse occurs in a relationship when one of the members acts in a way that frequently:

  • it makes the other feel bad, 
  • little by little it causes you to lose self-esteem, 
  • lose self-confidence and your own identity, 
  • emotionally dependent on the person who dominates him/her,
  • who feels trapped in a situation with no way out,
  • etc.

Initially, the abuser is unable to recognize the abuse and, when he or she realizes it, finds himself or herself without the resources and strength to cope. On many occasions he has lost contact with family and friends.

The abuser, through mental manipulation, transmits to the other the need to eliminate their freedom, their autonomy, and their right to make decisions (including those concerning their own lives and values). All this justifies it as necessary to preserve love and one’s own partner.

Use affective blackmail to get you to do things and change aspects of your life for the love you feel, making you feel bad and forcing you to modify your ideas, beliefs and friendships.

“If you really love me, you: ____________________” (Complete the sentence yourself)

When a partner imposes his will continuously and progressively, distorting the situation from a position of superiority and always possesses truth and power, we are faced with a clear situation of psychological abuse.

The other person has two options: accept the situation and accept the abuse or leave this relationship and recover a healthier and more dignified life. 

This is a very complex situation and the decision to leave the relationship is really difficult because the abused person often has feelings of love (sometimes obsessive) for their abuser. 

The support of family and friends is essential.

Do you think you can be a victim of psychological abuse?

If you think you may be suffering psychological abuse…

Or if you have doubts about whether your relationship is healthy, loving and based on respect, take the Test.  It will help you decide if you need to act to change some things and avoid that it can be toxic and abusive.